


winter crush all of the things that i've once had

by VanityRuins



Series: no more what ifs [2]
Category: Persona 5, Persona 5 Royal
Genre: Fist Fights, Fluff and Angst, M/M, aka akechi cleaning akira's wounds after fighting with [redacted for spoilers]
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-21
Updated: 2019-11-21
Packaged: 2021-01-31 13:16:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,460
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21446806
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VanityRuins/pseuds/VanityRuins
Summary: “How long until you leave?” He looked back at the boy carrying him. “How much time do you have?”Akechi sighed, “I’m not sure, I feel okay. Why do you care?”“You know why I care.”
Relationships: Akechi Goro & Kurusu Akira, Akechi Goro/Amamiya Ren, Akechi Goro/Kurusu Akira
Series: no more what ifs [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1538182
Comments: 4
Kudos: 95





	winter crush all of the things that i've once had

**Author's Note:**

> This one goes right before part one. 
> 
> Title comes from the song Winter by Daughter.

Hard as stone knuckles landed on Akira’s mouth, making him take one, two steps back. His bottom lip throbbed and his vision blurred for a few seconds, his strength started to fade from his muscles. He wouldn’t be able to last much longer.

The Phantom Thieves’ leader stood tall, anyway. Blood dripped from his nose and lips, he closed his hands into fists and charged against Maruki’s figure. The whole palace started to crumble but he didn’t care; if he wanted a fight, he was about to get a war. As his hand reached his enemy’s nose he prayed for his teammates to be safe. He knew Morgana would take them out of the Metaverse safe and sound. He only had to make some more time, to play the rest of his cards.

They traded hits, most of them found their way on the weakest parts of their bodies. Noses, cheeks, eyes, anything goes once you're in the middle of a battle. Akira's arms ached but, he kept himself on his feet getting ready for the next round over and over again as the world collapsed around him.

The fist fight continued despite the imminent catastrophe; it felt like hours even though it's been a few minutes. Punches were tossed around, most of them now not even landing on their opponent; exhausted from the pressure, their muscles started to pay the price of overworking. The rumble under their feet warned them again, just like a hourglass reaching its end. 

Akira spit blood next to his shoe staining the iridescent bridge, he cleaned the rest, hanging from his lip, with his equally red gloves. The counselor kept yelling about his true intentions, about wanting everyone to be happy. Rage engulfed Akira’s body who, like a spear, tackled him and punched his nose one more time before standing up and looking him from above. Hatred and sadness firing up his eyes under his mask.

I’m losing everything because of you, he thought. 

The other man didn’t defend himself, he stood up too and looked back at him with something closer to compassion. At some point, Akira didn’t realize how or when, he saw the ground falling apart behind his enemy’s figure. He couldn’t warn him, his mouth opened but nothing came out as he launched himself forward one more time. This time for a different reason.

Maruki fell but, Akira’s hand brought him back from a certain death.

“Let me go,” Maruki sobbed, “save yourself.”

Akira didn’t say anything. To be honest, he wanted to.

He stared at the city’s lights under them as he felt the counselor’s hand slipping from his own. It was this man’s fault that now everyone were facing their most horryfing memory again, it was this man’s fault that he had to take a choice and let Akechi disappear again.

He closed his eyes and tightened the grip on his hand. 

It was also this man’s fault that he was able to see Akechi again. That he was able to spend more time by his side, to play billiard and chess with him. To fight in Mementos and kiss him on his lips whenever they were completely alone.

A powerful noise came closer to them. Akira smiled.

He held the counselor’s hand as he saw him smile back. Tears fell from Maruki’s eyes as he looked down, to the abyss waiting to swallow him whole.

“Don’t–” Akira closed his eyes, his shoulder felt like if it were being ripped apart, “Don’t look down.”

Akira heard footsteps coming closer, suddenly the weight of Maruki faded, getting lighter. He opened his eyes to see Yusuke and Ryuji helping the other man to reach the helicopter. He rolled around and laid his back on the trembling bridge, closing his eyes again. 

Damn, he felt exhausted.

“Are you going to stand up or what?” Akechi’s voice came from above him. Akira opened one eye and smiled at him.

“Give me a hand.”

“You look horrible,” Akechi replied extending his hand and pulling him back on his feet, “your bottom lip keeps spurting blood. It’s disgusting.”

“My charm goes beyond my face,” Akira squeezed his hand and tried to walk but, he lost his stability for a few seconds. Everything begun to spin too fast around him.

Akechi held onto him with a tired sigh. His hand covered his back as he placed Akira’s arm around his shoulders, making his way to the rest of the team.

“You probably have a concussion.” He explained, Akira’s brain only focused on his smooth voice and the way his hand pressed on his side. “Haru brought some first aid-kit, we can treat your injuries and clean you once we’re safe.”

“How long?” Akira whispered. His eyes focused on the rest of his team, who were placing an injured Maruki on the back of the helicopter. 

“Huh?”

“Until you leave,” he looked back at the boy carrying him, “how much time do you have?”

Akechi sighed, “I’m not sure, I feel okay. Why do you care?”

“You know why I care.”

He helped him sit inside, the rest of the thieves gave them space as Haru took a seat next to Akechi. Mona put them on the air quickly, they had a lot of space to travel and the palace was already on ruins.

“What do you need?” Akira heard Haru ask to Akechi. He had his head laying against the seat, eyes closed tight. Everything hurt too damn much.

He didn’t want to leave, not yet.

“Are you feeling okay, Joker?” Ann said, he didn’t know if she was staring at him but, he nodded; tears would scroll down if he opened his eyes.

“Give me alcohol and something to clean the blood.”

He felt a hole inside his chest, eating him alive. He knew there was no other choice, he knew this was supposed to happen. But it wasn’t fair, none of it was fair.

As Akechi pointed Haru what he needed, Akira wanted to ask Maruki for another chance to change his answer. He knew that if he did that, the boy sitting by his side wouldn’t forgive him for the rest of his existence.

But he rather had him alive than by his side.

He could handle losing his friendship but, he couldn’t handle knowing that they weren’t sharing the same night sky, watching the same moon. He couldn’t handle knowing he was decomposing underground.

“This will hurt.” Akechi said.

“I know.” Akira replied with a broken voice.

Akechi’s hand cupped his cheek and started to gently rub a gauze upon his right eyebrow. It did hurt, it burnt his bruised skin but, he had worst. Tears rolled down his cheek as he made a face at the strong smell of medicine.

“Don’t be a baby.” Akechi mumbled, there was malice on his tone but his smile was gentle. It was the kindest smile Akira ever saw on his face. “Get over it, that’s how it is.”

“I never imagined you would be crying because of some fight injuries,” Ryuji laughed, “I feel a lot better now.”

“Why? Do you cry too, Ryuji?” Futaba said from the front, next to her Makoto turned around to watch the situation.

“Yeah! A lot!” He paused. “Wait, I don’t cry to like, I don’t know, a movie. But I cry when I get injured because the cleaning is the worst.”

“You’re lying,” Yusuke interrupted, “you do cry at movies. I saw–”

“SHUT UP!”

“I need to know, Inari. TELL US!”

As everyone yelled, Akechi started to take care of Akira’s lips. He did it slowly, not paying attention to the mess their teammates were making. Ryuji and Yusuke struggled to tell their point of view about that time Ryuji cried with a romantic movie, Futaba asked too many questions about it to the point of making Ryuji's cheeks turn crimson red. Ann, Haru and Makoto laughed at their friends but, he could feel their overwork showing on their voices. Sumire sat next to Maruki, the counselor wasn't conscious but their friend was and she kept a strict control on their enemy. 

Akira looked back at Akechi. He caught him staring at him with a lovestruck face, making him smile even though it hurt to move his lips.

“You split it open again!” The detective complained, placing the gauze he was using on Akira’s mouth again. The pain burnt his sensitive skin.

“I saw that.” Akira said in a voice low enough for only them to hear.

“You didn’t see shit.”

He let him clean the blood around his nose next, he enjoyed watching him as he did his job. He wasn’t wearing his weird knight like helmet, his messy hair started to stick onto his face as the light inside his eyes shone brighter than ever.

It wasn’t fair at all.

He finished cleaning his face quickly but, despite that he kept his gloved hand on Akira’s cheek. He faked checking on his wounds to earn them more time, they knew they didn’t have more than minutes to say their goodbyes as Mona reached to the exit.

Akira wanted to kiss him. He found himself regretting not doing it days later, always so chained to the opinions and gazes of the people around him. Sometimes, he thought, that was his real curse.

“Your knuckles.” Akechi’s voice pulled him out of his miserable thoughts. He looked down to his blood covered gloves, there were stains all over them. “Let me clean them too.”

He couldn’t say anything before he felt Akechi’s fingers crawling underneath the cloth, pulling his gloves with an almost intimate pace. The noise coming from the outside disappeared as their hands touched, everything moved in slow motion, giving them their own private bubble to be overwhelmed by the other’s presence.

It was almost ironic how Akechi stripped him of his red gloves, touching and healing every bloody knuckle while keeping his own black gloves on. It felt like a metaphor for their hearts. It felt like a metaphor for their whole relationship.

He knew about Akechi's injuries but he never let him heal him. He refused to accept that he was pouring out blood and misery with every movement he didn't make, with every word he drowned to keep his pride afloat. Always too perfect, too flawless despite the rough edges. 

Akira found pride into admitting he was bruised, a broken bone. He found it easier, he found himself believing into the whispers of the hallways. He embraced those cruel words as much as Akechi gripped onto any praising he was shown.

He took care of every knuckle, ranting about how much Akira needed boxing classes when Morgana told them they were about to exit the Palace. 

Akira's eyes immediately searched for Akechi's, fear settling into his core. The detective's stare was cold as ice, he didn't look terrified like his partner; in fact, he looked tired.

It broke Akira's heart a little.

He was tired of dying, tired of serving as a puppet. He deserved more than his wicked fate.

As they were collapsing into dark space, leaving the palace behind, Akira didn't let go of Akechi's hand. Terror took over every fiber of his being until Akechi gave him a light squeeze to reassure him. Nothing we haven't faced before, he said. But Akira didn't understand, he could barely speak and he felt he was missing his time panicking over his possible death insted of telling him how much he meant to him. 

Yes, he was afraid because he was falling into his tragic Akechi-less existence but also, afraid because Akechi seemed too comfortable with it. Not because he thought this was his plan all long, not at all, he trusted him now more than ever. He understood what was that darkness they were approaching, he tried to reach for it and he didn't give him any type of information about it. He didn't want him to mix with that black hole and disappear forever.

At some point of that fall, Akira closed his arms around Akechi before losing consciousness, right after seeing a bright light explode through the darkness.

He dreamt of a perfect reality, he dreamt of a world where they met as kids, he dreamt of Akechi in Leblanc. He thought he saw a blue butterfly flying behind his figure as he was pouring the same coffee he asked for everytime he visited him. He couldn't confirm it because everything vanished as quick as it came, before he could even trade words with the boy smiling at him with his know-it-all grin. 

It felt too real to be a dream.

When he woke up, he was at the Velvet Room.

There weren't chains on him, his cell was open and his clothes didn't resemble a convicted criminal. His head took its time to readjust to the change of space, he barely remembered his dream from before.

Igor welcomed him alongside Lavenza. He heard them praise him for his job, they thanked him for taking the right choice. Akira nodded at every word, not even feeling a connection to the boy who did such wonderful conquests. He couldn't relate at all, he didn't deserve any congratulation. He didn't want to do the right thing in the first place.

He did it because that was _their_ promise.

The Velvet Room's atmosphere turned colder as his memories spiraled back into his brain. Igor allowed him to ask anything before he had to send him back to his world. After all, the time inside that place didn't resembled the one outside.

"Where's Akechi?" Akira said, his voice scared of the answer despite already knowing it.

Silence and then Lavenza's eyes glared at him intensely. He didn't feel any type of bond between him and the beings inside this place but he could recognize sympathy coming from Igor's voice and Lavenza's face. He thanked them for it.

As Igor told him it was time to go back he wanted to ask him about the butterfly. He wanted to ask about the black void trying to swallow them all. 

But he didn't, instead he said his goodbyes at the same time consciousness drifted apart from his body.

When he came back, Leblanc's door awaited for him to open it as he heard his friends chatting inside except one. He lowered his head, heart shattering against the floor as he pushed the door open. The TV blasted the weather report, nothing but more cold and snow. Nothing but more winter ahead. His friend's eyes focused on him, their chat interrupted. Akira looked up, picking himself back up and smiled at them right before they crossed the room to hug him all at the same time.


End file.
